I'm getting really annoyed at some of these poly people. Fucking irritants, almost all of you. Why the hell are you in courses you completely cannot handle? Courses that test YOUR creativity and ingenuity, not MINE. Stop getting me to do all your fucking homework. And not being appreciative after. I'm tired of spending entire nights staying up and doing your work for you, and not getting any credit after. This is all at the expense of my own work and all you know. With all the fucking work I'm doing for yall I might as well enrol in some part-time diploma programme.

I seriously don't mind helping out once in a while. I mean honestly, its nice helping your friends out you know. But you know eventually you're gonna go out someday and do this all by yourself. You can't keep being so reliant on me and a few others to do all your work for you. Its so annoying how when I'm free the whole evening you come to me at 11.30pm crying about how you can't finish your work on time. What the hell. Poly gives decent deadlines okay. Why the hell do you have to leave everything to the last minute. I need some fucking sleep okay. I keep falling asleep in all my damn lectures and its all because of YOU. I get like 3 hours of sleep a night or what and its really annoying. I mean hello, I already have years' worth of eyebags, you reeeeally don't have to add on.

Its really not fair to make me do all your work. I mean really, its YOU who attend all the lectures and whatnot, you know what your teachers want. Not me. Just because you don't want your classmates to think you need help with anything. Arghh. I have no idea what kind of format or context everything's wanted. I'm tired of being forced to take on all this work and then getting SHOUTED AT BY YOU for doing everything wrongly. Use your own god dammed innovation will you.

Laugh at me all you want for succumbing to all the pressure and taking the JC route. At least I can fucking handle what I got myself into right. I mean you don't see me asking random poly people for help with Bio right? I have problems with stuff I ask my own JC friends or teachers or what. Okay more like ignore the problem most of the time, but so not the point.

So anyway, I'm not doing anyone's homework for at least a month. Promos are coming and I totally need to start listening in lectures once in a while. So fuck off all of you. I mean it ah.

Shane and Tryn have combined forces, together with a few extras, to film a re-enactment of the drama in the bus the other day. Which NONE OF YOU WILL EVER SEE. As maluating as maluating can get. Yikes.

Anyway, we had some parent teacher meeting the other day. Dad came so I made sure he skipped the principal talk cause he'll start snoring super loudly and embarrass me only. Anyway, it was nice to see 100 percentile for econs and Dad was all proud of me while waiting to see Mdm Yeoh. And then when we did she completely ruined everything. She was going on and on about how I completely don't understand the concepts but I can write a lot and that's the only reason I got my A. Doesn't she realise I never ever give my Dad anything to be proud of? Like let him have his I'm super proud of my daughter moment. Sigh. Good news is, for the first time I'm not the most problematic kid in class so the meeting was pretty short.

I've come up with a whole new theory for Econs. I think the less you study the better you do. The notes just really confuse you with the ambiguity. I mean differences in definitions are so vague that you really have absolutely no clue what's going on. Everyone's been calling me closet mugger or what and its so annoying. I mean I really completely didn't study at all. I only looked at economies of scale the night before for like 10 mins, gave up and went back to watching prison break. I answered the whole damn thing like a geog paper and everyone thinks I'm some nerd.
Oh well. New school new image I guess.

Not to sound horribly bitter or what, but I think birthdays just get more and more depressing as the years go by. Its not so much the getting older bit, I'm not that upset over not being able to sing "I am 16 going on 17" anymore, but more like you remember how good it all used to be and compare it to how fucked up it is now.

I think all the relationships that really really meant a fuck lot to me kinda died. There's Dell who's moved away and hardly ever calls anymore, Shane, Glenn and Tryna who just don't come around like they used to, and then there's the family. Its awful imagining myself as one of those screwed up kids who hate their parents or what. Mum threw some dumb party tonight just so that for once in the whole year she can put on a big show about how much she loves her daughter. Right. She didn't even wish me this morning. It was like bang bang bang on the door at 530. I got damn excited and ran to open thinking wow someone woke up early to wish me all and turns out she just yelled at me to go to school myself. I'm still waiting for the damn happy birthday.

Dad didn't even make it back for the 'party'. I have a feeling he's gone out somewhere to buy a present. I don't want anything from them. Not at all. Keep your fucking presents. As testament to how fucked up everything is, instead of my haagen dazs cake, I got bloody pandan kaya from bengawan solo. That's the cheapo cake we buy for class birthdays lah.

But I guess its like toughening up you know. Like instead of relying on your parents so much, you start leaning on your friends. And the friends have been absolutely fantastic. I love you all. I cleared my inbox at 11.30 last night and I've got 78 messages now. Of course there's Shane who sent me 17 happy birthday msgs but I feel really loved. I think the most touching one was from Punitha, my best IJ babe. I haven't spoken to her in months and she still remembered. I totally felt like crying reading her msg. Oh god I've just burst into tears now. Its so sweet. You're all so sweet.

Fuck there's some big drama going on outside. Gotta go.

A says:
i know how to spell alreadyyy!
A says:
went to wikipedia that
A says:
its HIPPOTAMUS!
A says:
yay!

Search also can still spell wrong. Must be my Bitch only lah.

I suppose in the spirit of turning 17, I should probably do the oh so clichéd post. So here goes.




17 things you probably didn't know about the bitch that is Clarissa Cross.





1. Altogther I've had 57 stitches due to various falls everywhere. Clumsy I am.

2. My first ever crush was on the Tropical Heat man, the one with the ponytail. I think I was 4.

3. I would press my knuckles into my cheeks for hours on end, hoping in vain to get dimples.

4. I stabbed my ears with safety pins as a kid, thinking that was how you got earholes.

5. I used to think sperm would float from daddy to mummy in the middle of the night, and that was how babies got made.

6. I was called for the longest time Oscar the Grouch, Juicy ( Don't be perverted now, I was just a ridiculously fat baby), and the boy that never was.

7. I actually believed Adrian when he told me Mum and Dad picked me up from the bin outside KKH. And that he was a fighter plane pilot who'd land his plane on the roof every night before coming in for dinner.

8. I got kicked by a cow once, while trying to milk it.

9. Despite what I tell you, our dogs Benjie and Sissy commited suicide shortly after I was born.

10. When I was five, some MP lady shook my hand at a meet and greet session. I thanked her by throwing up all over it.

11. I frenched my best girlfriend for 5 minutes straight for 10 bucks. It was hot.

12. I've woken up in the morning not remembering whether I had sex the night before. Seeing half naked men lying next to you is fucking scary. At 15 anyway.

13. I convinced my Primary 3 teacher I was brain damaged and couldn't smell paint cause the doctor gave me the wrong medicine, just to get out of Art that day.

14. I did a striptease/ pole dance thing once at some random chalet when I was very very drunk in front of a hell of a lot of people I didn't know.

15. I have this compulsive need to count everything. In case you were wondering, M&M's packets have about 56-58 M&M's per pack.

16. The longest I've gone without food, not including hospitalisation and all was 52 hours. I kinda forgot to eat.

17. I went four months not speaking a word of English, pretending I could speak Spanish instead. Dad got me to stop by inviting a client from Spain over for dinner and asking me to converse with him.


Quite fun doing this nonsense lah.

As usual, in quite desperate search of something to eat in the house that never has food, I opened the fridge with such high anticipation, only to get my hopes completely dashed. ( I have such a talent for coming up with long long sentences) Anyway, all that's in my fridge now, as sad as it seems, are two huge huge huge papayas. Like what the hell. Each takes up like one shelf of my not that small but ridiculously empty fridge. Adrian's suffering from major constipation or what, and trust me I know. Having the bathroom connected to my room means I get to hear all sorts of noises in the middle of the night.

So anyway, the whole family's being forced to eat various motion-inducing foods along with him as a relatively mediocre form of consolation. Yah right. I suppose all this fibre is good anyway, I'm currently the heaviest I've been in my whole life, including the time when I was on growth steroids. Yikes. Its about time I started a diet anyway. Like seriously 3 kilos in a month? I can totally feel the cellulite. Oh the sorrow. I blame emicakes and they're unreasonably yummy choc fudge cakes. Plus, if the current trend of exceptionally yummy birthday cakes continues as it has for the past five years or what, I'll stop being horizontally challenged. Which means all I'm left with is the vertically challenged. Depression.

God, re-reading this I figure I'm the most random no-life person in the world.

The birthday boy.

Mr Photogenic. He only ever smiles when he sees the tiny orange dot on the camera.

I thought I was the retro one in the family.

Teamwork will get us oh so far.

Why didn't I get cakes with smokin' hot Elmo on them?

The PRETEND angels.

Obviously some weren't as into the proceedings as the rest of us were.

I think my finger was covering half the flash but it looks cool.

Don't let the photo deceive you, they're both monkeys.

Luke's first birthday party. Had such a blast.

I was reading the twins some kid book called Bubbles the Careless Monkey. Its about this monkey named Bubbles who leaves his toys all over the floor and doesn't listen to his mum tell him to pick them up. Then Bubbles's grandfather comes to visit and he slips on one of the toys. The twins got so sad cause they thought their grandfather slipped and fell. They were totally on the verge of bursting into tears.

Oh I'm also in their prayers every night. Aunty Esa's right up there along with Bobo and Dadi, the decapitated dolls. I'm so proud of myself.

I was in such a good mood coming home, having bought my fourth fat hairband, two new pairs of earrings and re-piercing my third ear hole. I positively skipped into the house, only to find my mum ransacking my room. What the hell, I never knew I could change moods so damn quickly. In about three seconds flat I started screaming and my face turned damn red. Like what the hell. Can't I get any damn privacy. And she wonders why my room is locked all the time. Fucking annoying. I'm so annoyed right now.

She says she feels out of touch with me. Uh what the hell. Great way to get to know your daughter, going through her stuff when she's not looking. She's the one pushing me away, not the other way around. Its like whenever I'm nice to her she reciprocates by insulting me. Wonder-fucking-ful.

I'm swearing a hell of a lot more. I think its Shane's doing. You horrible horrible boy.

The smart hot man.

I found this ridiculously funny, like his reaction to the iguana thing. What an idiot. Like seriously.. iguana and chameleon? Even I knew the difference. Sigh.

I forgot to celebrate my 50th post the other day, so instead we shall celebrate the 52nd post. Yay go me for finally sticking to something for so long. Doesn't matter that half of those fifty posts were like the once a month kind. Go me anyway.

I went for novena today. And it was super crowded, because as usual the Cross family arrived late. So I had to stand like with 50 million people outside and it was so stuffy. I almost fainted again, Adrian caught me. Anyway, not the point since I've already done the fainting post. The point is, I had to watch some tv with the priest on it. And of all people to be serving next to the priest, it had to be the EX. Or at least I thought it was him. The tv was like so dark, except for this white circle around the priest. And I don't mean the white halo kind of thing above him, but the something strangling him kinda around him. I have no idea what I'm talking about, but I must be the worst Catholic ever, strangling priests all.

I ran away after mass so I wouldn't meet him. Yay. Success. And I came home, and got inspired to make a Wentworth Miller screensaver. Super fun searching for hot hot pics. Ahhhh. I spent like a whole half hour searching and making my screensaver. And then another hour on top of that figuring out how to send it to people. I'm really excited though, cause he looks so hot and all in every pic. Ahhh. Come ask me online if you want it okay. I know how to send already! God I've become so loser suddenly. Yikes.

Oh no Daddy's bugging me to go for mass now. I thought novena counted. So unfair. I begged and pleaded to go tomorrow. Success once more.

My newest wallpaper. The undone belt just kills me. Oh god why must you be so damn hot?!?!

clarissa. says:
i tell you 8474682734 times to download already lah

clarissa. says:
only click click and you damn lazy

my best side was your worst invention says:
ok lah

clarissa. says:
as if you damn busy mugging for bio only

my best side was your worst invention says:
i tell u 8474682735 that i damn lazy lah

clarissa. says:
i tell you 92884355 times that i hate you right

my best side was your worst invention says:
i tell u 92884356 times that i loveeeee you righttt

clarissa. says:
i tell you 94847358734875 that you're some psycho bitch from hell right

my best side was your worst invention says:
i told u 94847358734876 times that i dont care right

clarissa. says:
i tell you 7465857658654 times mr ow damn hot right

my best side was your worst invention says:
i also tell u 7465857658655 times that mark is wayyy hotter right

my best side was your worst invention says:
and i also tell u 5676666662495495646569859869478 times that this is getting dumb

clarissa. says:
i tell you 847947537594 times i love heidi much much more than you right

clarissa. says:
hahahahahaahhaha

my best side was your worst invention says:
i tell u 847947537595 times that i loveeeee you

clarissa. says:
i eating cookies and cream muesli bar

clarissa. says:
yummy yummy

clarissa. says:
yummy yummy yummy i've got love in my tummy

clarissa. says:
and i feel like loving youuuu

my best side was your worst invention says:
yayyyyyyyyy

my best side was your worst invention says:
dummy dummy dummy i told u you bloody dummmmyyyy

clarissa. says:
hahahaha

clarissa. says:
wth


I dunnoe why I'm suddenly posting so much about her. Maybe I'm finally embracing the relationship. Yeah totally.

Bio results today were oh so depressing. We had a 33.7% PASS rate for the whole cohort. And as usual, 1S26 made everyone else feel better, as all five of us managed to get a U grade. Like wth right. Not like we weren't expecting it though.

So Bitch and I were sitting around in the canteen, wondering how we were gonna break the news to our parents. I've never gotten a U before, so its like I've reached a new level of bad. Not feeling exceptionally creative, we decided U will no longer stand for Ungraded, but University. I know it doesn't make sense, but the logic behind it is, getting a U means immediate admission into uni. Hahahaha. The lame-ness that is us.

Daddy stole the Singapore Idol magazine from work for me to read. I know. THERE'S A SINGAPORE IDOL MAGAZINE??? How loser can this country get right? But oh well. I think the last batch was so much more talented then this one, which is so dismally average. Gayle's been such a disappointment really. I doubt I'm gonna keep watching very much longer, so fucking boring lah, although the maid won't let me watch anything else on tv or she'll burst into tears. Argh.

Today all three of us didn't take P.E. Heidi, Bitch and I. Its amazing how I'm the one who fainted during assembly ytd, and P.E man doesn't believe my letter, but believes Bitch's. Like seriously.

Then Bitch started singing in the canteen after that. She was singing Milo's theme song to the Mentos tune with M&M's as the brand name. So it sounded like this.

"M&M's the milk chocolate, its good for you!'

Like wth. Seriously.

Then I went threading with them, definitely a strange experience. Its funny going with chinese people, first of all there isn't very much to pluck, and don't even get me started on their pain thresholds ah. Bitch was of course bitching about how pain it was, you should have seen her with this totally constipated look the whole time the lady was threading her eyebrows lah. But the lady did a good job and we all look pretty pretty now, of course with me being prettier than both of them, :) We started both a three week threading schedule and a study once a week schedule. Go us.

Oh my god Magnolia Oats Milk damn nice. Tastes like ovaltine biscuits mama used to buy for me. And low fat too.


Oh wow. I really have no life blogging about dumb things like this.

clarissa - thanks for all the concern babes. says:
bitch

my best side was your worst invention says:
what bitchhh

my best side was your worst invention says:
we didt eat mango today ok

clarissa - thanks for all the concern babes. says:
told you to sleep early right

clarissa - thanks for all the concern babes. says:
really ah

my best side was your worst invention says:
yah becos u not there

my best side was your worst invention says:
hahahahah

my best side was your worst invention says:
mango wont be mango without youuuuu


God I love my friends. Today tmr and forever and ever. And if I must I WILL marry you okay.

As if today isn't bad enough, scrubs made me sink further into my pool of depression. There's this character called Clarissa, and she's this short balding woman. She's about to get married so it makes all the single women in the hospital depressed.

Quote, "When Clarissa makes it to the altar you know its time for you to hang up the ovaries.."

Just so fucking great.

Today was so maluating its amazing. Just the way to start off the new schooling term. God I want to kill myself. I should have just listened to my mum and stayed at home. Fuck lah.

I was dying of cramps this morning in school but I took a couple of painkillers on the bus so I figured they'd go away soon enough right? Wrong. Morning announcements at assembly took so fucking long. And it hurt so bad I just wanted to crawl up and die. And then I started feeling really dizzy. Can you believe it, I FAINTED in front of the whole damn school. Waking up from it was kinda like a dream. I'm still wondering how high my skirt flew, which also brings back terrible memories from my one day in drama club. It was like, I opened my eyes and there were so many people around me. There was that nice indian teacher asking me if I was okay, and totally reassuring me that I fell in a completely graceful way. I'm gonna nominate her for teacher of the year or something. And like a million people were staring at me lying there on the floor. Fuck I was so damn embarrased. I mean honestly. The last time I fainted I was in a bathroom at KKH dying from dengue. And that was like the only time ever.

Dad rushed to school to pick me up after a few panicked phone calls with a mixture of hysterical sobbing and screaming at him to hurry the hell up. Cramps were so fucking bad. Aileen was with me, honestly thank god for her. I'm so not gonna insult her the rest of the week just for being there for me. She bought milo and soyabean for me, but I didn't drink any. Smell was too gross. Mum injected me in the stomach with some nonsense to numb the pain. Feels weird. And the maid made me throw up all over the place when she showed me her lunch. Chicken leg soup. EWW.

I wanna go see Adrian. I wanna go see grandmama. I wanna go back to school. I wanna do anything except stay at home. Makes me feel sicker only. Maybe I'll sneak past the maid and go for a walk outside.

Adrian's in SGH now, having just completed some ridiculously unnecessary surgery. Ever since the army promoted him, which resulted in his NS being extended another 2 months, he's been determined to make them pay. So he's been taking mc like nobody's business, and sending himself for dumb operations. Today's some nose one I think. He doesn't seem to realise the risks surgery has. Its like he doesn't care what happens to him, as long as the army pays. Wth right?

Anyway I'm going to go sit with him in the hospital. He's got a room to himself so yeah.

This abyss of serenity laced delicately with desolation; my PCP.










Whatever gets you through today.

I am so going on a major shopping spree the next chance I get. Soccer today was just amazing. I bet all the money I had in my wallet with Mach on who'd win the Portugal England match. Being the oh so typical Singaporean, he decided so very confidently England would win. So I bet the $74.79 in total I had in my wallet that Portugal would win.

When they did I felt kinda bad. So then I went double or nothing with him that Brazil would lose. I knew I was never gonna see that cash anyway, so what the hell right. And oh my god they did lose. So I won $149.58 thank you very much. When I'll see the cash is a different matter entirely. Nevermind, I still wanna go shopping. I so rock. Should have bet with Singapore Pools ah. I'm sure I'd have gotten fantastic odds. I mean Brazil losing? Honestly..

Common test was, for lack of better phrasing, a full-blown catastrophe. I have no idea why, but people in this school think I'm damn smart or what and expect me to do well. Of course doing well in SR is like passing one of your H2s. I went into econs not knowing anything. I attempted studying the night before that, but kinda gave up after reading about economies of scale. Adrian asked me what it was the other day and I realised I didn't know so I panicked. Its funny being able to help him with his work despite the age gap. And by helping I mean throwing a random guide book at him of course. Anyway with econs, you can write hell of a lot, but its one of those subjects where there isn't much of an in between; its either right or completely wrong. So I have no way of knowing how I did.

I skipped about 28 marks worth of questions for math I think. Bloody hell damn little on logs okay. After painstakingly practicing damn a lot on it. Argh. GP I missed out a whole 6 mark question. Bio didn't even understand the damn questions. Geog was the only one that was quite okay I guess, though I'll end up flunking terribly anyway.

Ahhh enough of the damn pessimism. Oh wait there's more. Grandmama's been hospitalized again. For the 4th time this year. I try not to think about how awful a sign that is. I feel horribly guilty, cause everytime I tell someone about her its about how eccentric she is, and not about how sweet or loving she is to everyone.

Gonna go pack some things to bring to the hospital now. Ciao.